The dust has settled on Mother’s Day once again and I’ve finally found a few minutes to gather my thoughts on my very first Mother’s Day.
First off- I’d like to say that my Husband knocked it out of the park! He knew that after struggling for three years to have a baby, that I was finally looking forward to this day. (Last year, we purposely had a getaway on Mother’s Day weekend so I could get away from the constant reminder of not being a mom.) So my sweet Hubby made me breakfast, set up reservations for lunch after church, wrote a heartfelt note in a card, and he even got on Pinterest to find a family craft that we could all do together! Yes, you read that right- my Husband got on Pinterest y’all! So impressed.
But as the day went on I couldn’t get Samuel’s birth mother out of my head. My thoughts kept wandering back to how she was feeling. Was this Mother’s Day the worst day she’s ever had? How often did Sam cross her mind? Did she secretly shed a few tears for the baby she placed for adoption?
My heart started to break for her and I started to feel guilty. I know she loved my sweet Sam and I can not imagine the depth of her decision. I was able to celebrate Mother’s Day not by anything I did, but because of her selfless decision. I get to wake up to sweet baby smiles and listen to endless giggles because of her. My greatest happiness came from what could very well could be her greatest sadness.
I truly believe adoption can be beautiful but it can be very messy and emotional as well. Adoption is more complex than most people realize. I thank God every day that I get to be Samuel’s mother, and I pray every night that his birth mother has found peace.
And to my friends who are just praying that they get to celebrate next Mother’s Day with their own miracles- keep believing. I’ll keep praying with you.
Until next time……