This past group meeting at Sarah’s Laughter has been one of the my favorites! The devotional and activity that Beth prepared for us really spoke to me. It was based on the 3rd and 4th chapters in the book of Joshua.
Moses had passed away and Joshua became the people of Israel’s new leader. Joshua and the Israelites were on a journey through out the land when they came upon the Jordan River. Joshua knew he needed to get his people across but he didn’t know how. Not only were there women and children following him, but the Jordan River was in it’s flood season. Meaning higher and faster waters. Joshua may have felt that God was leading him into uncharted waters, but God already had a plan.
“And the Lord said to Joshua, “Today I will begin to exalt you in eyes of all Israel, so they may know that I am with you as I was with Moses. Tell the priests who carry the ark of the covenant: ‘when you reach the edge of the Jordan’s waters, go and stand in the river'” Joshua 3:6-7
So the priests did as Joshua told them. They took the ark of the covenant which they were carrying and went to stand in the Jordan River. The miracle? The River stopped flowing, dead in it’s tracks. The priests and all the Israelites passed through the River basin on dry land.
God has also commanded Joshua to pick 12 men to find a stone from the middle of the River. Joshua set up the stones as a reminder of the miracle God performed. When descendants would see the stones, the stones served as a perfect reminder to tell of God’s miracles and faithfulness to His people.
He said to the Israelites, “In the future when your descendants ask their fathers, ‘What do these stones mean?’ Tell them, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’For the Lord your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. Joshua 4:21-23
So naturally, what did we do? We built our own stack of stones. None of us have been blessed with the miracle of children yet, but all of us have seen tiny miracles in our journey so far. As we were building our stacks of stones Beth encouraged us to give each stone a meaning.
I ended up with 9 stones in my stack. Each one represents something we’ve encountered along our infertility journey.
The base of my stack has 4 stones, one for each embryo John and I were blessed with during our first cycle. These embryos didn’t develop into pregnancies, but they will live forever in my heart. They were a little piece of me and a little piece of my Husband. The closest we have been to parenthood.
I have a stone representing my relationship with God. These past two years have been incredibly hard. But my relationship with God has grown and has been refined tremendously.
There is a stone for Sarah’s Laughter. This support group has helped kept me sane. It’s a place I can be totally gut wrenching honest with people with the same struggles and not be judged at all.
There is a stone for winning a free IVF during the Baby Steps 5k. A true miracle, something only God could orchestrate himself. Because of this win, we have renewed hope for Baby Best.
One stone is for the support of family and friends. You all have helped carry John and I through our roughest days. For you, we are truly thankful. All the cards, messages, and happy mail, has kept our spirits high.
I put a stone in for the emotional pain and struggles we have been through. I do have hope I will be a mom soon. But when I am, I never want to forget this journey. It is because of the pain and heartache we have had to bear, that I have found so much empathy for others.
The last stone on the top of my stack is for our future children. One day they will look at these stones glued together and wonder what it’s for. I will be able to tell them how they are miracles, how much we longed for them, and how God was faithful through it all.
The stacks of stones can be used in so many other instances other than infertility. I encourage you to make one too for whatever miracles God has done in your own life! It is such an amazing reminder to look back and remember what God has done.