Goodbye 2015, Hello 2016!

It is that time of year when everyone starts reflecting back on the previous year and planning for the new year to come. Resolutions are being formed and hopes are being made about what is to come. I’ve started thinking about the new year too, but I started on December 3rd.

 

It was the last Sarah’s Laughter meeting of the year and we had a guest Speaker. Our Guest Speaker was Mary Claire Stickle (www.thestickles.wordpress.com). Mary Claire has a pretty amazing story. Like me, she struggled with infertility. A certain part of Mary Claire’s testimony really stood out in my mind.  Everyday during her walk with infertility she used to pray for her future baby (ies) by name. Before they were even formed, she knew their names and lifted up Bennett and Eliza to God, asking Him to bless her with them. Not knowing how or when these little ones would come. During this time she would see little reminders that God is sovereign in random places. She mentioned meeting a dog that had the same name as one of her future babies’ at the dog park, or seeing a man on an airplane with a puff painted shirt signed by a little girl named Eliza. It was those moments that she would smile and believe that God was showing her to keep believing.

My friend, Melissa (www.littlemrsmarried.com), has a word she felt God had given her in 2015. It is “Believe”. She also would see little glimpses of God at random times with this word. Friends would give her coffee cups or little signs with the word Believe. Or certain things would just remind her to keep believing.

Both of these things have really stuck out in my mind. I had a verse for 2015 “Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her.” Luke 1:45.  2015 was a year I really needed this particular verse. Setback after setback I would recite that verse and remember that God has a plan.  I still rely heavily on this verse.

These two friends don’t even know it but they have helped challenged me to some New Year’s resolutions of my own. If you know the Doctor I work for, you know he is a HUGE advocate for writing down your goals. He always says “You have a goal? Write it down, look at it every day. Tell yourself it will happen.”  I do plan on writing my goals for 2016, but I’m going to blog them too! Same thing, right?!

  1. I wanted to choose a new verse for 2016. I wasn’t quite sure which one to pick. But then I randomly won a giveaway from Fertile Box. In the box is a 5×7 picture of a verse that just couldn’t be more perfect! ” Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” Hebrews 11:1 . There we have it, folks! My verse for 2016!image
  2. Like Melissa, I’ve also decided on a word for 2016. Faith. Walking through this journey of infertility you MUST have faith.  I have faith in God that one day Baby (ies) Best will make their miraculous entrance into the world. What a joyous day that will be!
  3. Like Mary Claire, I have decided to start praying for our future babies by their particular names. I’ve prayed for them for a long time, but never by name. Now, we have a few picked out, so I’m not really ready to share their names with the world just yet, but maybe eventually!
  4. Be a better friend/daughter/sister/wife etc. etc. etc. I’ve read somewhere that Infertility can make you into a very selfish person. And rightfully so. Its a journey where you have SO much on your mind that you can’t possibly think of anything else. This year I have been late with Birthday wishes, or have forgotten them all together. (I really am very, very, very, sorry Dad!). But in 2016 I will remember that I am not the only one in the world who is going through something. I will really listen to my Husband more, remember birthdays, and send out notes of encouragement like all the ones I have received.  I’ve been blessed with so many letters, little gifts, and words of encouragement this year. So I will make a conscious effort to pay those forward!
  5. Be more intentional with my Prayer life. I already pray a lot. In the morning after my devotional for the day, at night before I go to bed, and sometimes in between. My nighttime prayers are usually my long ones. But the problem arises that I’m always in bed and sometimes drift off to sleep before I’m finished. So my goal for 2016 is to be more intentional with my prayers. I’m going to find a spot besides my tempting, super comfy bed, to really pray and connect to God. Its a long overdue change.

So these are my goals/resolutions for 2016. I’ve never been more ready to say Goodbye to a year! I’m SO over 2015, so see ya bye, 2015! Here’s to all the good things to come in 2016! Cheers!

love-lauren1

Consultations, Consultations, Consultations!

 

The past week has been full of consultations for John and I. We are slowly trying to piece together a game plan for the next part of our infertility journey.

 

Post Op Consultation 

It has been a few months since our failed Fresh and frozen embryo transfers. So we finally got to sit down with Dr. Webster to discuss why our transfers failed. I was hoping to pinpoint a reason or reasons why we didn’t have success, hoping that there would be something we could change. Unfortunately, there’s no rhyme or reason why it didn’t work. According to Dr. Webster everything went perfectly (besides the fact that they both failed). When I was “stimming” or giving myself endless injections, all my hormones looked great, I produced a great number of eggs. Our eggs fertilized well, so we had a good number of embryos. We transferred two good embryos during our fresh cycle, and one during our frozen cycle.  All my lining checks looked good too.  So the moral of the story is everything went perfectly. We just didn’t get our big fat positive. On one hand, I’m happy that everything looked so great and went well. But on the other hand, it’s frustrating to know there’s not a reason for the failed results. There’s nothing tangible I can change to up our chances of success. But this is where I just have to continue to believe in God’s plan for our life. We will continue to be hopeful and have faith that the next cycle is the winner! There IS a purpose for all of our suffering. Overall, Dr. Webster was very positive that we would have success soon. He is retiring at the end of this year. But our free IVF is actually with another office all together, so this is the perfect time to transition to a new office.

 

Pre Op Consultation

Since we are switching offices for our next cycle we also had another Pre op consultation scheduled. We met our new RE, Dr. Dunaway, and his staff. I can’t say enough to good things about our experience. We met all the nurses and staff, took a tour of the office, then settled in to discuss the plan. Dr. Dunaway has a beautiful new office where all the technology is “state of the art”. He went into every detail of their lab and how meticulous they were when building it. Everything down to the lighting and even the air quality were considered when building. If it could give the embryos even the slightest advantage of success, they did it.

We decided our next cycle would be a “freeze all”. Meaning there will be no fresh embryo transfer right after the retrieval. The embryos will be frozen after they reach a certain stage of growth and will be transferred at a later date. Since FETs (frozen embryo transfers) have a higher rate of success, a month after our retrieval we will transfer one or two embryos depending on how many we have. Dr. Dunaway does a few extra things during the IVF that he feels will be very beneficial.  We decided to wait a few months before we get started. We don’t want to rush into anything and that gives us time to continue to work out, eat better, and just get a little healthier in general. We all feel really good about our upcoming IVF, and we are so happy to have another shot at it!

If you are walking through infertility I strongly encourage a book called It Starts With The Egg, by Rebecca Fett. She is a Microbiologist and an Attorney, and wrote this book based on her experience of IVF. The book gives tons of helpful tips and knowledge to better your success rates. But we all have to ultimately realize, it’s all up to the Big Man upstairs!

Make sure to stop by soon for my next post about how I plan to start the new year!

love-lauren1

image

A little image that popped up on my newsfeed that really spoke to me. From the church we attended before we moved. God uses our pain and sufferings for a reason.